I grew up in Europe at the edge of the Alpine forest and the wilderness has always felt my home. I knew the forest, I was part of it, part of the trees, the animals, the creeks. I knew the beautiful secret places where the fairies live. I knew its seasons, I knew its feelings. It was a home.
Later in life I traveled and experienced many different kinds of forests and landscapes. I met many kinds of different animals. I scuba dived on the Great Barrier Reef for a few years and that felt like visiting another planet. I felt the immensity of the ocean, the amazing colors and the variety of life. When I first moved to this ancient Australian land, it was a stranger to me. It took me a while to know it, especially the drier outback. It was not like the lush green landscape of my childhood. But slowly I came to know this land and she got to know me. The land that initially felt like Mars to me. I fell in love with its spaces, the fauna, the flora, the blooms, the sounds, the sky that goes on forever. The ancient rocks, the elements and the way the sky plays with the horison, the clouds and sunsets, the butterflies and birds. So much life, so many details, so many patterns, sounds, feelings and scents. This feeling of eternity is very difficult to describe, one must experience it.
Most of my awakening was spent roaming the land, this vast landscape. This ancient land and everything in it taught me, spoke with me and kept on bringing me to the now moment. I became familiar with just being, with silent communication that hears, understands and feels everything. I became well versed in the language of this land and the beings that live here. Some wanted to interact with me, and some did not, some went about their business not wanting to get to know me. And that was perfectly ok. I danced with the elements, the storms, the winds, the sun and its baking heat. I danced with stars that feel so close in the immense southern sky and the moon. I danced with the trees and plants, talked with them, and got to know them really well. I've learned the language of this land. I feel her breathing. I feel the energies and interact with them. Oftentimes the specific places call to me, I hear them whispering even as I walk the streets of my town, they are irresistible and I heed their call.
It is this land and its wild beings that have helped me to become familiar with my own wild nature. The wild part that for a long time I put in a cage inside of me because it is what I was taught. The society tried to teach me that this part is not safe, that it must be hidden and caged. Because it is unpredictable, un-tamable and therefore unacceptable.
The vast untamed places showed me how to be wild, how to feel wild, how to hear and understand the voice of the wild, to feel its spaces, to play in the freedom that they create. This ancient land knows this feeling well. I have also gotten to know the wild cows and horses, pigs and other beings that have reclaimed and reacquainted themselves with wild. I realised that for most of my previous life, I have not ever met their true self, their free and sovereign self. I thought that their domesticated behaviour was who they really were, that it was normal. I saw how different the wild ones were from the beings who live their lives dealing with ropes, and cages and fences and whips.
And I could relate to them, I was able to step back and look at my own domesticated nature, the nature that compromises its freedom in order to please others. So that it would be considered normal and accepted. So that it would be safe. It has never before occurred to me that I've never really known what I was really like, what my free nature, my wild nature was like.
And so I continued on my journey and I have become familiar and intimate with the wildness in me and other beings. And I allowed the wildness of me to dance. And I allowed this part of me to show me what it means to be free. I experienced the thrilling peace and zest for life that only the wild can feel. The unbound joy of being. The stimulating and wondrous exuberance in being alive. The overwhelming joy of just being....being so accepted by life and self, and so completely loved. The sweet simplicity of being.
And now I can easily recognise this knowingness in others, in other beings. We greet each other and we know each other without any words. And we know that we know. And we see it in each others eyes and we feel it in each others being. And this knowingness is the same regardless of what the outer looks like. A human, a horse, a fish, a spider, a flower, a tree, the sun, the moon, the wind, the cloud. The form matters not.
Wild, being wild, knowing wild is being able to allow yourself to be, there is no future, there is no worry, there is no past. There is just a thrilling splendid wild you that dances with life, that dances with everything around you, rejoicing in seeing and being seen, being recognised. And the sheer exuberance of being sometimes expresses itself as physical movement and at other times I can be sitting on a rock immersing myself in being one with the sunset I watch. Being a part of everything, belonging here. With life, in life. Being a part of the trees, the sounds and the silences, the smells and scents and a thousands of moments and other unnamed things that are tickling me, dancing with me and playing with me in every way possible. And the absolute feeling of safety, of joy, of presence....of endless eternity...moment by moment.
This kind of trust, this level of openness is orgasmic in itself.
And so in this space All Life Is Sacred and All Sacred Is Life.
It used to concern me on my way back to town, to the life that knows itself only in its domesticated controlled form, a life that is made into square shapes, perfect lawns, people behind barred windows and doors, noisy machinery, approved of animals in cages, fenced in and roped up. In the name of safety and yet never finding that illusive state, the state of feeling safe.
I used to wonder how I will be able to reconcile my wild nature, my freedom with residing and visiting the domesticated spaces. And to my surprise....with time, the domestic me developed trust and the ability to let go of control. To let go of fear. To walk through the doors and fences.
And it enjoys the dance of the fearless and the free. And the wild keeps teaching and playing and inviting the domestic to be open to the multitude of realities, and spaces and dimensions. And to be caressed and touched by eternity. And celebrating all life as sacred. Anywhere. Anytime.
I have always liked this image of Archangel Michael and found it so poignant. I have no idea who painted it and I thank the unknown author. She, the Archangel Michaela, was in my dreams few weeks ago and this image was a real event. I too was able to go to such a dark loveless place without any fear. Of course, some of us no longer carry a sword and we don't ask Archangel Michael to fight any of our battles either. So the next day I was looking at this pic on the computer and had the idea to erase the sword and paint a flower in her hand instead. It turned out to be a poppy and it seemed to have painted itself. So fitting.
The end of the year is a time of taking stock. I realise that one of the major reasons I incarnated in the first place was to Master this kind of situation, to look at my own darkness, my own wars that used to rage inside of me, my own pain. I used to fear and wanted to destroy parts of myself that were wounded, that were hurt, that were loveless. They looked like monsters who wanted to destroy me. I used to suppress them, ignore them, run away from them, keep busy to not notice them. I used to ask Angels to fight them for me, to destroy them on my behalf.
Then of course the awakening happened. read about enlightenment and ascension but they did not mean anything to me. All I really wanted was to heal the pain inside, the overwhelming pain inside that used to overwhelm and want to drown me. I have found a way of course to heal the wounds, self love of course. Allowing my Eternal Self, consciousness to blend with me, to walk with me, to be me. I have buried all my inner weapons, melted the armour and allowed the acceptance and the self love to work its magic inside of me. There are no more wars inside of me. And of course, with the peace inside there is no need to war with others in the outside world.
It has been a fierce journey, relentless one. It has required all my courage, and more than I ever though I had. To stop, to look at myself, to listen to myself, to hear and feel the wounded parts. The broken heart. The wretched loveless parts, parts that never knew acceptance, the bits and pieces that were existing in the deepest darkest loveless dungeons. And I walked through those places and I felt those parts and I welcomed them home. The integration at times almost broke my body, the energies so intense, so full on causing my body to shake uncontrollably at times. To feel so broken. The sleepless nights of integration and release that seemed to never end. Just how many loveless parts can one have, I used to wonder.
At the same time, it has been the most exciting, the most exhilarating time. A most gentle, delicate, orgasmic time. Of being so open, so naked, so vulnerable. And the ecstasy of those feelings, and the exhilaration of being able to allow love, the real naked love, the one with open eyes. The one that sees all and still loves, loves unconditionally. That finds the broken parts so beautiful and it sings about them up to the heavens. I am truly privileged to have experienced all this. And to keep experiencing all this. The ecstasy of feeling good about myself, the ecstasy of feeling loved and accepted by my own self. And the freedom that comes with that. There is nothing like it and it is priceless.
And back to Archangel Michaela. Of course Archangels do not have a gender, and he, Archangel Michael as most people know her, is very happy with his red poppy. The sword was really a pain in the butt she says. And he never really fought any monsters he says, he is a mediator. She visits the dark places to find openings, openings to love. To find those that are ready, ready to give up the loveless places, the warring places, the places of darkness.
And he, the Archangel, definitely loves to hang out in the fields of flowers, lying in the grass watching the clouds pass by. The joy of tasting the sweet scents of summer in the field, listening to the bees collecting nectar... He says he wishes more people would invite her to play, to enjoy just being. And as do I, enjoy the just being. Enjoy things like watching the clouds lazily float by, as we tell each other jokes and giggle. The Archangel and I. And we also talk about being fearless and what an amazing place that is to be. And what an amazing journey it has been to get to this place. The fearless place. To be fearless. To live fearless. To make fearless choices rather than the choices guided by fear.
So this is my wish for everyone for the year 2018 and beyond. Let it be a year of fearless choices, choices made on behalf of self love. And dare to play and fly with Angels, they are so much fun.
The increasing presence of consciousness is creating a very personal inner revolution in many people. More and more are waking up and starting to question their reality. They are questioning the very basis of their own lives and looking for a connection to their own inner source. They are redefining their priorities, letting go of the old and writing new scripts that include conscounsess, heart and awareness. The shallow external wrappings are being replaced with integrity and essence. Everything is up for reassessment including the relationship with self, other people, community and the environment. And it is time. Because the old ways of living do not have a future, at least not a future that would be enjoyable. The internal changes are having huge impacts on external circumstances because the conditions and paramenters of society need to change and lift the game to reflect the new standars.
It is easy to be drawn into fear when everything is changing so rapidly. It can be challenging to be in your own sovereign space while living in the environment of Earth where the majority of people are still choosing a life of victimhood and fear. Each human being is creating their own reality which may not be compatible with yours. The old way of trying to resolve the situation would be to engage in battles to try and change the other but there is another way.
The new way requires inner awareness, willingness to change, integration of the shadow self, responsibility and self reliance in the creation of the feelings of safe space, nurturance, acceptance and self love. The allowance of these attributes on the inside impacts the outer world which beautifuly and accurately reflects them back to our self. Creation of our own reality at its best.
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